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Post by prouvaire on Apr 25, 2014 17:21:42 GMT -6
woW I want it
but idk my mom was saying some pretty ignorant stuff about it when we found out. She opted me out of it, but I think I can go back and check it. I'm just kind of ??? like will my mom know if I secretly choose it? Like am I going to get a package that says "welcome to gender neutral housing" because I'm not ready for my parents to know or anything :c
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 25, 2014 17:45:55 GMT -6
WOW OKAY NEVER MIND MY MOM ALREADY SUBMITTED IT I HATE MY LIFE
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Post by Admin on Apr 26, 2014 0:05:22 GMT -6
You can change it.
This requires you to put on your "I'm an adult and this is my life pants".
Call the school, preferably the housing department.
Tell them that your mother submitted your information without your knowledge or consent, and chose the wrong housing for you (this will most likely require proof of your consent in the future, such as you calling a number and saying "I give so and so permission to submit this paperwork on my behalf") and that you honestly don't feel safe in anything that's not gender neutral housing, and that based on past experiences (who says they have to be yours) you feel your well being and ability to perform well academically will be greatly damaged if not in gender neutral housing.
Definitely play up the academic part. Schools will jump out of their freaking skin over that. (I did that just to get a room change, even when the deadline passed and I got it within 5 minutes no questions asked).
You have to do it asap or it could be too late.
She won't have to know, they're not going to send you any package saying "welcome to ____ dorm!"
They'll just process it, assign you a room number and a dorm mate(s).
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Post by jamie on Apr 26, 2014 0:10:42 GMT -6
Cam for real, call up the college.
You have options. You just need to fight for it. Like Tori said, you're an adult now. Things aren't going to be handed to you on a silver platter and your parents are going to have to deal with you not doing everything they say. Go call UMBC, explain the situation, and next time, tell your mom not to submit forms in your name anymore. There comes a point when you need to stop being passive, and do something about your parents controlling every bit of your life. I think this would be a great start.
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 26, 2014 4:41:15 GMT -6
You can change it. This requires you to put on your "I'm an adult and this is my life pants". Call the school, preferably the housing department. Tell them that your mother submitted your information without your knowledge or consent, and chose the wrong housing for you (this will most likely require proof of your consent in the future, such as you calling a number and saying "I give so and so permission to submit this paperwork on my behalf") and that you honestly don't feel safe in anything that's not gender neutral housing, and that based on past experiences (who says they have to be yours) you feel your well being and ability to perform well academically will be greatly damaged if not in gender neutral housing. Definitely play up the academic part. Schools will jump out of their freaking skin over that. (I did that just to get a room change, even when the deadline passed and I got it within 5 minutes no questions asked). You have to do it asap or it could be too late. She won't have to know, they're not going to send you any package saying "welcome to ____ dorm!" They'll just process it, assign you a room number and a dorm mate(s). I might do it tonight. I really want that housing. I don't know too many colleges that have that option and I feel like I have to take advantage of it while I can. |
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Post by Admin on Apr 26, 2014 10:26:59 GMT -6
"Might" doesn't get anything done.
You have to do it, or accept you won't get it. College doesn't leave room for maybes.
Also look up their hours and see when the office closes. It's better to catch them midday.
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Post by jamie on Apr 26, 2014 18:52:00 GMT -6
Call them ASAP Cam!
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 27, 2014 4:00:00 GMT -6
I didn't have time yesterday :c
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Post by jamie on Apr 27, 2014 14:36:11 GMT -6
And what are you going to do when you finally call them and it's too late and they don't have time to accommodate you? Cam these things are better taken care of sooner rather than later.
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 27, 2014 18:52:21 GMT -6
I might just have to deal with it for a semester. I think the housing application is already due and I seriously didn't have time to sit and talk at all this weekend.
I mean like, it's not like I'm going to be uncomfortable being in an all-girl dorm. I just thought it would be awesome to actually live as my preferred gender (or lack thereof) with other people who are like me. I think I'll still have a chance in the future, and it might actually be easier for me later because my mom won't be around so much.
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Post by Admin on Apr 27, 2014 19:43:22 GMT -6
Housing is for a year, sometimes two depending on the school.
They almost never let you switch.
Just because it's due doesn't mean it has been processed.
If you want it, make the call. You can find 15 minutes out of your day to call. You don't have to sit down. Learn to multitask. College demands it.
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Post by Admin on Apr 27, 2014 19:44:28 GMT -6
Also your parents don't just disappear when you go to college. They're still there, still just as much in your life.
You either set the boundaries now or let them control you forever.
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Post by shelby on Apr 27, 2014 21:25:54 GMT -6
I would just make a quick call and ask if it's too late to change your housing accommodations. It's worth a shot! This is a great thing for you and you need to at least try just in case there's no room in later years. Take a chance and ask  it's better to be safe by checking then regretting never giving it a try. |
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 28, 2014 3:04:36 GMT -6
okay. I'll call today.
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 28, 2014 18:45:53 GMT -6
WOW I couldn't do it I'm such a freaking wimp like I sat there with the phone in my hand and basically had a panic attack and started crying
my parents are going to be there to help me move in, and I can't just not let them. They're going to know. I'm not ready for them to know yet. I don't know what to do.
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Post by shelby on Apr 28, 2014 19:28:32 GMT -6
Call them and ask if your parents will know if it's gender neutral housing or not |
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Post by jamie on Apr 30, 2014 7:43:36 GMT -6
Babe, a little bit of uncomfort will lead to a lot of relief in the future. Trust me, when the whole thing is over you'll say to yourself, "That wasn't so bad."
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Post by prouvaire on Apr 30, 2014 17:25:00 GMT -6
but I don't want to deal with my parents coming up and helping me move in and asking me why I'm not in the dorm building I'm supposed to be in. There's no way I can hide something like that from my parents.
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Post by emilyjade on May 1, 2014 3:40:31 GMT -6
Cam, you can do this. I know you can do this.
I believe you can puff up the confidence to call the housing people, I believe that you can get there, with your parents, unpack your stuff, and be happy in your housing with other gender neutral people, making you more comfortable.
Being in that housing with people going through what you are going through too or have been through what you are going through with your parents. Might give you the confidence to talk to your parents about everything you want to tell them about and don't feel you can just now.
You need this for your confidence. I believe in you.
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Post by Admin on May 1, 2014 10:17:53 GMT -6
but I don't want to deal with my parents coming up and helping me move in and asking me why I'm not in the dorm building I'm supposed to be in. There's no way I can hide something like that from my parents. They're going to have to find out someday. And really, it only takes at most an hour to get all moved into your dorm, (aside from the drive and all), and after that you see them whenever you want. 1 hour of discomfort for 4-5 months of pleasure. |
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Post by prouvaire on May 4, 2014 8:39:11 GMT -6
I've decided not to do it. I hope you guys aren't disappointed in me :c
it was really just too much. I'm not ready for my parents to know, even if they have to find out eventually. Just, not yet. And like I said before, it's not like I'm going to be miserable in a female dorm, my only concern is making sure my roommate is okay with me being nongendered. I just can't have my parents come up and help me unpack and risk them finding out because I'm just not prepared for that. And I can't call, believe me I tried. I tried telling myself that it would all be worth it, but idk it just wasn't enough and I can't.
I need another year. A year to settle down and learn to be an adult, and learn how to explain things to my parents, and then I'm hoping I can call and explain my situation. I know you said they usually don't let you switch houses, but I think gender neutral housing might be an exception, I mean like if someone has a revelation that they're gender neutral halfway through freshman year, I don't think anybody would want to deny them that opportunity just because they found out ""too late""
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it's better to be safe by checking then regretting never giving it a try.