I'm that one pretentious person on cavern tours

you know, when the tour guide goes "who knows the difference between a stalactite and a stalagmite" and everyone is supposed to look around like heck if anybody knows, and that breaks the ice for the tour guide to go into the science behind cave formations, like no, I will steal your job yo lemme tell you a little something about calcium carbonate 

I may not know a lot of things, but diddly darn if I don't pride myself on my useless cavern knowledge

I love caverns so much jfc I have to go to all of them. ALL of them.

I want to get a job as a cavern tour guide because I just love them so much ugh