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Post by prouvaire on Mar 30, 2014 18:26:10 GMT -6
both of my boyfriends had been perhaps the closest friends I've had of any gender before we started dating and I've never actually been asked out by a guy who I hadn't considered a close friend (with one exception but ugh we don't talk about that)
like idk about you guys but I'd find it kind of hard to date somebody that I hadn't been really good friends with before? I think more people should date their friends. It's like, you're already friends so you know you have mutual interests and if you get along as friends there's more of a chance of you getting along as significant others? Or idk maybe I just don't do relationships right?
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Post by Admin on Mar 30, 2014 19:41:11 GMT -6
I tend to date people I've been friends with. ^^
But, that's not exactly what the friendzone is. xD
The Friend Zone is a rather hateful term penned by over "attentive"* guys who feel that being friends with someone they like is not good enough. Their intentions were to never actually be friends, but they became "friends" with this person for the sole purpose of dating them. Then, they would often push the boundaries set by the person to the point of making them uncomfortable. This person is usually fairly nice and friendly, but feels uncomfortable with the advances made so she enforces that she only wants to be friends. The guy, not having gotten what he wanted, then hatefully says that he's been friendzoned, effectively making other guys view the person that did the "friendzoning" as prudish, stuck up, ect. just because she didn't want to date someone that gladly made her comfortable.
I've been in that position twice. One notable instance(and one I was just ironically talking about with David) was a guy who I hardly knew that openly hit on me and made sexual comments towards me while acknowledging that I was in a relationship. He would try to convince me to leave the guy for him, but when I told him no would go back to being my "friend". After a while, it escalated into him threatening suicide every single time I turned him down, including after I had gotten into a relationship with David. He eventually went around telling everyone I friendzoned him, and I got a lot of backlash for it, and everyone conveniently ignored me when I told them I was in a relationship with a genuinely nice guy while he made advances on me and used manipulative behavior.
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Post by prouvaire on Mar 31, 2014 3:24:01 GMT -6
oh
OH okay
yeah that's pretty horrible.
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Post by Admin on Mar 31, 2014 3:26:46 GMT -6
Yeah. xD I tend to lump it in with the concept of the "Nice Guy".
True nice guys don't complain about women's choice of men. They accept that they weren't a choice and hope that maybe it'll change in the future but only if the woman wants it to be that way.
But I'm with you. I think dating friends is one of the best options. You already know the person and know that they love and accept you. I've only had a handful of relationships that weren't friends first and they were really awkward/bad.
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Post by emilyjade on Mar 31, 2014 7:32:36 GMT -6
I married my best friend. Weeep
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Post by minigen on Mar 31, 2014 14:49:05 GMT -6
Tori explains beautifully.
also agree people should date friends because exactly its easier and i think better? Because you already know stuff about them and things they do when they get mad, how they react, etc. If you date a random person you dont know about how they react, especially angry, and if you date a random person you might have alot of awkward silence and maybe not so many common interest and i dont know i just imagine a really big awkward date situation i dont know xD
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Post by eris on Mar 31, 2014 22:36:20 GMT -6
I don't think I'd ever be able to date someone I wasn't friends with before lololol
Like the idea of just liking someone and going straight to dating seems so weird and awkward for me, I can't even imagine not being friends first and building up on it lololol
The "friendzone" thing pisses me off so much because it's shady and stupid and lots of choice words okay like ugh
Emily that's my dream akjshdkfjh aww <3
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Post by shelby on Apr 1, 2014 16:16:07 GMT -6
I agree with you guys that it's better to become good friends before dating! The 2 boyfriends I didn't really know/wasn't good friends with before the relationship failed and they both ended up being jerks..and they were the ones who thought I HAD to date then and that they had control over me. How about no!! If I would have known them better, I probably would have known that about them.
The other two I was friends with before the relationship. Even though I knew they liked me and I liked them, it wa nice to know about them beforehand. They were the ones who were upset when I broke things off, but they respected my choice.
It's much better to date a friend : )
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