Post by prouvaire on Mar 18, 2014 17:09:20 GMT -6
warning this is like
real deep
but like, I've often thought about top surgery. Just the prospect of having a completely flat chest without having to bother with asphyxiating myself with sports bras is so freaking appealing. But then I'm not sure if I'm """allowed""" to get surgery because I'm not actually fully trans, like can I get a flat chest without actually being a boy? Is that okay? I mean I feel like people are going to ask me "so you're trans" and I'm going to be like "no I just really don't want boobs" and they're going to look down on me like I've done something terrible. I mean I know it's like a major surgery and people shouldn't do it until they're 100% certain, but I'm serious when I say I've literally never wanted boobs and I lived in fear of getting them and I cried when I did and I still cry, and I'm doubtful I'm ever going to feel fully comfortable with them, and getting surgery would totally be worth it to me but I don't want to be offending the trans community by getting a surgery done without being completely trans
and then there's the issue of hormones, like god I can't even describe how much I want an adam's apple, and I've heard that some ftms develop adam's apples on testosterone and that'd be so exciting for me since I highly doubt there's a surgery to get one. But on the other hand I don't want any other aspects of testosterone and I know I shouldn't take it just for the possibility of this one effect, because I'm going to hate everything else about it. But man I just want one so so so bad :c
I don't know it's just like, sometimes I wish I was just completely trans. If I was, this would be a lot easier. I'd get surgeries done and I'd get hormones and I'd love every effect of those hormones and people wouldn't call me a liar when I say I'm not cis
real deep
but like, I've often thought about top surgery. Just the prospect of having a completely flat chest without having to bother with asphyxiating myself with sports bras is so freaking appealing. But then I'm not sure if I'm """allowed""" to get surgery because I'm not actually fully trans, like can I get a flat chest without actually being a boy? Is that okay? I mean I feel like people are going to ask me "so you're trans" and I'm going to be like "no I just really don't want boobs" and they're going to look down on me like I've done something terrible. I mean I know it's like a major surgery and people shouldn't do it until they're 100% certain, but I'm serious when I say I've literally never wanted boobs and I lived in fear of getting them and I cried when I did and I still cry, and I'm doubtful I'm ever going to feel fully comfortable with them, and getting surgery would totally be worth it to me but I don't want to be offending the trans community by getting a surgery done without being completely trans
and then there's the issue of hormones, like god I can't even describe how much I want an adam's apple, and I've heard that some ftms develop adam's apples on testosterone and that'd be so exciting for me since I highly doubt there's a surgery to get one. But on the other hand I don't want any other aspects of testosterone and I know I shouldn't take it just for the possibility of this one effect, because I'm going to hate everything else about it. But man I just want one so so so bad :c
I don't know it's just like, sometimes I wish I was just completely trans. If I was, this would be a lot easier. I'd get surgeries done and I'd get hormones and I'd love every effect of those hormones and people wouldn't call me a liar when I say I'm not cis
