I really hate

Yesss I agree so much. My parents spanked me for a long time when I was little, often with a belt, and it took me a long time to realize what they were doing was abuse.
I've spanked one child in my life and that's the point I realized I'd never do it again. I was babysitting my cousin for a week when she was 3 and my uncle told me that I'm free to punish her as I please. She threw a tantrum and bit me, so I spanked her, lightly. I've seen my uncle do worse. But I felt terrible about it. Even though I had told her to sit in a corner, I ended up carrying her over to my bed and making her a pb&j with cheetos. I talked to her and told her that she should NEVER bite people or throw tantrums like that, but that I was also wrong for spanking her. That was day 2 of the week, and I never had a problem with her for the rest of the week.
But when I was a child, I remember my sister and I sharing a room. Everyone knew my sister was incredibly messy and my parents never bothered teaching her about cleaning up, so when we were about 5/6 the room would be trashed and they would set a timer for 30 minutes and while I'd clean frantically, she would just sit there playing with a toy. The timer would go off, the room would maybe be half way clean but a huge improvement, and instead of giving me more time and telling my sister she needed to help me and not let me do all the work, they spanked us both with a belt until it left red marks for a day. I didn't learn anything other than to fear my parents and jump at the sound of someone snapping their belt together.

You're going to be a wonderful mother. You already are, but I mean she will always see you as that.



You know one thing I hate that a lot of parents seem to do?
Trivializing their kids' problems. It doesn't matter if they are complaining about school and you just got off a super long 8 hour shift. Both are hard in their own respects, and chances are your child doesn't care about feedback they just want someone to listen. You (usually) have a S.O. that will listen to you. They don't.

I think you're going to do a wonderful job<3 Especially when she's a teenager. It might be hard but I've noticed such a huge lack of empathy in parents of teens these days. Yes, your life is hard, if not harder, and teens are definitely not always grateful. But the moments where my mom listened and tried to be sympathetic or just didn't trivialize my problems are the moments where a bond would form.

I know you will. You have wonderful ideals for parenting. ^^

god I wish my parents thought like that

I'm so freaking scared of my parents, to the point where I don't dare talk back or disagree with anything they say even if it's problematic or detrimental to my mental health. They also practiced corporal punishment and I'm never ever going to forget that one time when I was four and I couldn't get this piano piece right so my dad pushed me, and I know he didn't mean too much harm, but I fell off the seat and hit my face against the edge of the coffee table and split my lip, and that was probably the most traumatic experience of my life. And then when he decided I was too old to get spanked, he started throwing things at me and shaking me really hard, and it just made me so afraid of him. When he's yelling at me I just sort of stand there and take it because I'm scared to talk back and idk I feel like we still have a pretty okay relationship, but he made my childhood really rough because he made it seem like the purpose of my entire existence was to please him, and I still kind of feel that way, like if I'm a failure in his eyes then I'm a failure in my eyes as well, and things would just have been so much better if he had been just a bit kinder.